The Realm of the Verbal Processor

Baby Observations

Having an infant in the house again has reminded me of many things that I had forgotten about after our daughters grew out of that stage. It has also caused me to learn a few new things. Here are a few that I have been reminded of lately:

1. While it rarely happens, a child sleeping in on Saturday morning is a wonderful thing.
2. Middle of the night diaper changes are often times the equivalent of attempting to wrestle a spastic octopus.
3. There is nothing quite like seeing the unbridled joy on your child’s face when you walk in the door after being at work all day.
4. Seventeen pounds doesn’t sound that heavy until that seventeen pounds is a teething baby that you’ve been holding for six hours.
5. It is absolutely possible to fall asleep standing up. I’ve done it multiple times while holding a baby at 3AM. The feeling of knees buckling while holding an infant is scary.
6. While the sight of a baby spitting up is bad, I promise you that feeling spit up is worse.
7. Older children make great playmates for infants. Quite simply, older siblings rock!
8. Sleep deprivation is a very effective form of torture…especially if inflicted by a small child.
9. The sight of a content sleeping baby is one of the most beautiful things in the world.
10. If a baby is going to sneeze during a meal, it will typically be with a mouthful of some dark colored food. Green beans are bad. Prunes are much worse.
11. It’s really cute watching a baby smile in their sleep. I often wonder what they are dreaming about.
12. Sometimes a clean shirt is nothing more than a target (for spit up, poop, puke, food, etc).
13. Being a parent is exhausting work. There is a reason that God didn’t design us to do it alone. I have all the respect in the world for the single parents out there…you have a really tough job.
14. If teenage kids had any real idea of how much work being a parent is, there would be significantly fewer teen pregnancies.

May 29, 2009 - Posted by Jarvis | comedy, kids, life