The Realm of the Verbal Processor

Jarvis's Ramblings

Autumn Woods Classic-A Very Cold 5K

Over the last couple of months I have been working on losing weight (again). This has mostly consisted of running a few times a week…typically pushing Sam in a jogging stroller. It’s been a pretty good workout lately. Anyway, a month or so ago I saw a poster for a 5K race scheduled for October 10th at a park near my house, so I signed up…a little extra motivation.

What I didn’t realize when I signed up on that lovely sunny day in September is that October 10th in the Northwest suburbs of the Twin Cities was going to be the coldest morning since last winter. When I woke up this morning for the 9am race, there was a half inch of snow on the ground. The temp outside when I woke up was 24 degrees. By race time it had warmed up to a balmy 28 degrees. For the first quarter mile of the race, my teeth hurt the air was so cold.

I achieved my goal of finishing the race…albeit slowly. I was nearly 10 minutes slower than my 5K times right after college. But…I’m quite a few years older and carrying quite a bit more weight!

Laurel has been doing a mile-at-a-time marathon at school, and she ran this morning also…she did the 1K kids race.


October 10, 2009 Posted by | sports | Leave a comment

Bulldog Cookies

Anyone who knows me for long knows that I am an Ole Miss fan. I had been part of the Central Florida Ole Miss Alumni Club for several years and was very pleasantly surprised to discover that there is a Twin Cities Ole Miss Alumni Club. It’s nice to have other like minded people to be able to get together to watch ballgames with.

One of the games that Ole Miss plays every year is the Egg Bowl. This is the game against the Mississippi State Bulldogs at the end of the regular season. It is named such because of the trophy that features a brass football, but the football is the shape of a football from 1927 (the first year the trophy was awarded), which looks more like a rugby ball…kinda egg-like. Anyway, this year was a very lopsided Ole Miss win (45-0). The Ole Miss defense held State to 37 total yards…and negative 51 yards rushing. They sacked the three Bulldog quarterbacks 11 times. It was pretty ugly.

Now, I don’t get into sports trash-talking. I’ve never enjoyed it. I don’t like being on the receiving end of it, and I don’t intentionally dish it out myself either. All that to make sure this next part isn’t misinterpreted…it’s not trash talking…just something I thought was funny. The week after that game I got an email from one of the guys in the Central Florida Ole Miss club. His ten year old nephew had come up to him with a question:

How do you make bulldog cookies?

I don’t know, how do you make bulldog cookies?

You put them in an Egg Bowl and beat the heck out of them for four hours.

December 7, 2008 Posted by | comedy, sports | Leave a comment

Interview with Wally Mead – Part 2 of 3

Here is part two of my interview with Wally Mead. This section is a bit shorter than the first one…in the flow of the questions this just seemed like the best place to break it up. I plan to post the third and final part of the interview next Tuesday, so be sure to check back for the final ten minutes.

My plan is to do some more of these personal type interviews, so I posed a question yesterday…who would you like to see interviewed? Joey started off a fantastic list of people. (He also emailed me offline saying that he would be impressed if I got his whole list…heck…I’ll be impressed if I get half of his list! Although I do already have one of those lined up!) I’d love to hear from you who you would like to know more about. So…go to the post and leave a comment voting for who you would like. If the person is already mentioned, feel free to throw in another vote for them.

But…without further rambling by me…heeeeeeeerree’sss Wally!

Part 3 of the interview…

June 18, 2008 Posted by | ConfigMgr, interviews, Jesus, life, music, relationships, sports | | 1 Comment

Interview with Wally Mead – Part 1

Over the last several months I’ve developed a relationship with Wally Mead. Wally is a Senior Program Manager at Microsoft where he works with the System Center Configuration Manager product team. He handled a bug report that I submitted about SCCM (here and here…bug was fixed in SP1) and we connected offline afterwards. He had seen in the bug submission that I work for Campus Crusade for Christ, and he has had interaction with CCC in the past.

This week Wally has been in Orlando at Tech-Ed, so I invited him to come out and let me take him on a tour of CCC’s headquarters. After the tour we sat down and Wally allowed me to interview him. Below is the first portion of the interview. I will post parts 2 and 3 sometime next week.

I’d like to also offer a public thank you to Wally for taking the time to sit down with me. It was a very enjoyable time, and if Chris ends up coming to UCF, I look forward to seeing you more often!

Another thing…who else would you like to see interviewed? Let me know on that page and I’ll see what I can do.


Part 2 of the interview is live now…

[Update 6-22-08: It was brought to my attention in the comments below that if you don’t have the Adobe Flash Plugin on your computer, you will not see the audio player that is just below the “Enjoy!” line. You can get it here if you don’t already have it.]

June 13, 2008 Posted by | ConfigMgr, interviews, Jesus, kids, life, music, sports | 8 Comments

Fantasy NASCAR – Monster Day

I’m in a Fantasy NASCAR league with a couple of guys. In this league you pick four drivers for each race…one from an A list, two from a B list, and one from a C list. You get points based on how the drivers do in qualifying and the race. You also can only start a driver nine times over the course of the 36 races…so you can’t just start the same drivers each week. (Rules are here.) This adds a bit of strategy into figuring out which drivers will perform the best on the various tracks…and saving allocations for certain drivers for particular tracks later in the season. There are a lot of variables in the tracks that make them race differently. Some examples…length ranges from a half mile to 2.66 miles. Banking…some are flat, some are banked really high to allow you to maintain speed through the turns. Road courses. The surface also varies…some are smooth, rough, asphalt, concrete. Lots of variables.

Anyway, this week when I picked my drivers I was pretty happy with them. As the race went on today, I was really happy with them. Three of my drivers were running first, second and third through most of the race. My C driver was also in the top ten for a good portion of the race…until he made the mistake of speeding on Pit Road not once, but twice. The penalty for speeding on Pit Road is a “pass through” penalty…you have to come back down Pit Road. You don’t have to stop, but you do have to maintain the proper speed. The effect that this had was that my C driver (Brian Vickers) ended up going two laps down because of those penalties.

As the race ended up…my four drivers (Kyle Busch, Carl Edwards, Greg Biffle, and Brian Vickers) finished 1st, 2nd, 3rd, and 13th. That equated to a monster 383 point day for me in the league. That is by far the best week I have had in two years doing the league. If not for Vickers penalties, he could have had a top five day. He still did pretty well for a C list driver, but it could have been a lot better.

June 1, 2008 Posted by | sports | | Leave a comment

Tennis Match on Steroids

Watching the NASCAR race at Bristol is fun…but also challenging. There are so many cars in such a small space. And because it only takes about 3-5 laps for the leaders to start lapping the slowest cars, it gets very confusing very fast to know where the leaders are because they are interspersed with lapped traffic all the way around the track. Your head is snapping back and forth the entire race…kinda like at a tennis match…except there is action to be watched at both ends the entire time.

March 16, 2008 Posted by | sports | , , | Leave a comment

Raining at Bristol

Me at BristolI’m currently under the grandstands at Bristol Motor Speedway. It’s been raining, so the last practice session was cut short. We sat underneath as a thunderstorm went by a few hours ago. The rain has stopped, and the jet dryers are currently on the track. If the rain holds off, they should be able to get the Nationwide Series race in a bit later.

Because of the high banked track…and the fact that it’s only a half mile long, they should be able to accomplish the drying process in a couple of hours as long as the rain doesn’t come back.

I’m going to post again with some pictures when we get back to the motor home tonight.

March 15, 2008 Posted by | sports | , , , | 1 Comment

Let’s Go Racing!

Last November or so I got a phone call from a good friend (who also happens to be one of the financial supporters of my ministry with Campus Crusade) asking the question, “Dude…you want to go to Bristol?” For those who don’t know the significance of that question, this friend and I had been competing in a Fantasy NASCAR league. One of the tracks that NASCAR goes to is in Bristol, TN. Bristol is a “short track”…only a half mile around with 36 degree banking in the corners. You still have 43 cars driving 120MPH…each of which are pushing approximately 750 horsepower…but they are only doing a half mile loop. Lots of car contact, very close to all of the action, very loud. One description of Bristol that I read last year was that it’s like flying jets around your living room. All of that from what I have heard makes for one of the most exciting races to watch.

Anyway, my friend went on to tell me that he was paying for everything…ticket, flight, etc. I could essentially leave my wallet at home. Hmmm. Let me think about this…okay…sign me up!

So, I fly out tonight headed to Bristol, TN. I’ll be doing some work on the plane, and since my friend is a SMS/SCCM guy, I expect that the trip will also be productive from a work perspective as well. It’s gonna be fun. I’m going to try to take pictures and post a couple of times from Bristol.

Boogity, boogity, boogity…let’s go racin’ boys!

March 13, 2008 Posted by | sports | , , , | 2 Comments

Sprint Mobile’s NASCAR Coverage

I’m a NASCAR fan. I’m also a Sprint cell phone subscriber. I also have a data plan on my Sprint plan that allows me internet access on my smartphone. Because Sprint is the title sponsor for NASCAR’s top racing league…it used to be Winston Cup, then it was Nextel Cup, now it is the Sprint Cup….because of that, I naturally expected that the features built into my smartphone would give me excellent NASCAR coverage.

Not exactly…the coverage leaves a LOT to be desired. I am specifically looking at a news aggregator program on my phone called “On Demand”. I hit update, and it goes out and updates news, weather, sports, etc with current information. Then I drill down through sports, down through auto racing, then into the “NASCAR Insider” section.

Keep in mind, the third race of the 2008 season completed on Sunday. We’ve been through Daytona, Fontana, and Las Vegas and are headed into the fourth race in Atlanta this weekend. So what are the headlines in the NASCAR Insider? The same stories that were up just before and just after the Daytona 500… Nothing at all has been updated for either of the last two races.

No it’s not the end of the world. I just expected a bit more considering that Sprint is so heavily invested in NASCAR.

March 4, 2008 Posted by | sports | , , , , | 3 Comments

NASCAR bumper sticker

My wife saw this bumper sticker last week. It read, “Let’s play follow the leader. 3

Now, to anyone who doesn’t follow NASCAR, the “3” is a reference to Dale Earnhardt, Sr…The Intimidator.

I thought it was amusing…a reference to a dominant driver talking smack. Then Julie pointed out that it could also be seen as a bit morbid…Dale, Sr. was killed when he ran into the wall on the last lap of the 2001 Daytona 500.

Uh…really don’t want to follow quite like that…that is a bit morbid.

December 23, 2007 Posted by | sports | , , , , | 1 Comment

The Disingenuous Drifter – Arkansas’s new coach

I’ve seen scathing articles before. But Pat Forde’s column today is one of the most strongly worded I have seen in a while. Forde’s column on is about Bobby Petrino dumping the Atlanta Falcons to go to the University of Arkansas. He is replacing Houston Nutt who just left Arkansas and was hired by Ole Miss.

The article highlights Petrino’s apparent propensity to be always on the lookout for the next step “up” in coaching jobs. A couple of quotes from the article:

“this is the fifth straight year Bobby Petrino has tried to get another job. Every single season he’s been a head coach, he’s ended it by pursuing something else…Follow the grease stain that is the disingenuous drifter’s career path…” [the article goes on to trace his string of coaching jobs]

“The good news for Arkansas is that it might be the last school willing to give this guy anything more than what he deserves: a one-year contract and a monitoring device on his ankle.”

I know very little about the man other than what I read in this article…which refreshed my memory of Petrino’s involvement in a few coaching job stories over the last few years. But based on what I’ve read…I’m glad he’s not coach of any team that I care about following.

I’ll also say…don’t get on Pat Forde’s bad side.

December 13, 2007 Posted by | sports | | 1 Comment

Amazing sports videos

I will continue to edit this post with more videos over time. [Most recent edit was: 11-21-2007.] 

Over time I have seen a bunch of “did that really happen” sports videos. Below is a short list of some of the best that I have seen. Note: if any of these links go dead, please let me know, and I’ll hunt down an updated link. If you have other favorites that I haven’t listed, send me links and maybe I’ll list them.

October 2007. Trinity University (Division III) beating Millsaps College on the final play of the game. A total of fifteen laterals. Really wild finish. You can also read the story.

Plano East vs. John Tyler. 1994 high school football game in Texas. Plano East is losing 41-17 with 2:42 left in the game. But the game was far from over. Three onside kicks and a few touchdowns were to follow. Pay special attention to the announcers. They are hilarious. In particular listen for the phrase, “I done wet my britches.” :-) And be sure to watch all the way to the end of the video.

Travis Pastrana hitting a double backflip in XGames 12. Dude…are you crazy?

Ole Miss vs. Mississippi State. The Egg Bowl 1983. This play is known to Ole Miss fans as “The Immaculate Deflection“. The wind had been gusting a lot during the game. Last play of the game, State is attempting a field goal that was kicked dead center and plenty strong enough on a normal day. A big gust stopped the ball’s forward motion before it crossed the plane of the uprights. It actually blew backwards and fell into the endzone. Video is really grainy, but it is the only version of it that I have ever seen.

Tony Hawk landing The 900 at the X-Games on June 27, 1999.

The Immaculate Reception. December 1972. Pittsburgh Steelers. Franco Harris catching a deflected ball.

Jason McElwain hitting 6 three pointers in the last four minutes of a high school basketball game. Jason is autistic, and this was the only game he ever played in.

2007 Daytona 500. Clint Bowyer crossing the finish line sliding on his roof.

LSU fake field goal vs South Carolina, Sept 22, 2007. I include this one in the list at the risk of catching flack from my fellow Ole Miss alumni friends. Sorry guys…this is possibly the best execution of a fake that I’ve ever seen.

Diego Maradona in the 1986 World Cup. Argentina vs England. Note that this game occurred just a few years after the Falklands War.  The Goal of the Century. Interesting quote from one of England’s players, “[it was] probably the one and only time in my whole career I felt like applauding the opposition scoring a goal.”

Pele. This is a compilation video of a bunch of Pele’s games. His footwork was simply amazing. It’s amazing how he made professional soccer players look like they weren’t even trying.

November 15, 2007 Posted by | sports | | 1 Comment

Peyton Manning Priceless Pep Talk Commercials

The first time I saw the Priceless Pep Talks from Peyton Manning Commercials I cracked up laughing. They are Peyton Manning giving a “pep talk” on some of the stuff that comes up in life. My favorites are the haircut and “I’ve got a gut” ones…although the “I can’t stop eating” is really good also. You can even personalize them and send to a friend.

Probably only your guy friends…unless you really don’t want the girl to call you back.

Seriously…she won’t.

November 15, 2007 Posted by | comedy, sports | , | 2 Comments

NASCAR and the California fire victims

I’m a NASCAR fan. Not as big a fan as my neighbor with the “8AFTER3” license plate and the Dale Earnhardt memorial tattoo…but a fan nonetheless. I watch the races. I have a couple of preferred drivers.

As I write this, I’m watching the Pep Boys Auto 500 at Atlanta Motor Speedway. I just heard the announcers say something about Jimmy Johnson. JJ is going to donate all of his winnings from today’s race to the California fire victims. That’s cool…but it’s not all. The racetrack owner (I think that’s who it is) heard about it and committed to matching that donation. Then JJ’s sponsor, Lowe’s, heard about it and committed to matching the donation. Then Hendrick Motorsports (who Jimmy drives for) also committed to matching it.

Currently JJ is running third. If he finishes in the top ten, that could mean a million or more dollars for the fire victims. Very cool.

Update: JJ finished first. Cool for him…great for those affected by the fires in California. His winnings totaled $349,561. The way I understood it, that is being matched by three other companies/people and being sent to the American Red Cross California Wildfire Relief Effort.

October 28, 2007 Posted by | sports | | Leave a comment

Colorado Rockies, Part 2

Following up on my previous post about the Rockies.

Last night they made it to the World Series. They have won 21 of their last 22 games.

In light of what I wrote in the previous post…I’m still rooting for them. Mike Coolbaugh’s widow benefits from every win they have through the post season.>1=10539

October 16, 2007 Posted by | sports | | Leave a comment

Colorado Rockies

I’m not a pro baseball fan. I just don’t watch it. I sometimes tune in to the World Series, but then I also tune into lacrosse and curling occasionally. Anyway…I saw an article recently about Mike Coolbaugh. He was a minor league baseball coach who was killed during a game when a line drive hit him in the head while he was coaching first base. Really brutal.

Anyway, the team he was coaching was a Double-A team in the Colorado Rockies organization. The Rockies made the post-season. The Rockies players got together and voted to give Mike’s widow a full share of the team’s playoff winnings. Note: Mike was not a MLB coach…he was coaching in the minors.

THAT is cool. It’s enough to get me to pull for the Rockies through the postseason.

 You can read the article here:

October 4, 2007 Posted by | sports | | 1 Comment

Get In the Hole!!!

I was watching The Master’s golf tournament this afternoon. On multiple occasions after a golfer swings, someone (or multiple someones) yelled, “Get in the hole!”

Someone…please escort that man (yes, man…it’s always a man…women have more couth) off the course…you just forfeited your right to be there. That comment is overused to the point of being obnoxious.

So…for the golf tournament directors: How about creating a standing rule for the spectators? If you scream “Get in the hole”, you will be escorted from the course where you can watch through a hole in the fence.

Yeah…it’s a bit of a pet peave. I’m done venting now. :-)

April 8, 2007 Posted by | sports | | Leave a comment


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