The Realm of the Verbal Processor

Jarvis's Ramblings

Sam Disaster #2

A few months ago I wrote about the great peanut butter disaster in our house…Sam’s mad dash through the house flinging peanut butter. Today was what I will now refer to as “Sam Disaster #2”.

While working from home in my office I hear my wife shriek. I quickly run upstairs where I find her in the bathroom with water running everywhere. She had sent Sam to go wash his hands while she fixed his lunch…ironically, a peanut butter sandwich. :-) Sam had washed his hands, plugged the sink, left the water running wide open, closed the bathroom door, and climbed up to the table for lunch. I honestly don’t think he was trying to be bad…he was just completely oblivious to what he had just done.

While not quite as bad as the “Wet Bandit” scene from Home Alone, it was in the same ballpark. Water all over the counter and floor. Heck…one of the drawers in the vanity had even filled up…had to siphon the water out of it to keep from making an even bigger mess. That drawer was the one that used to hold my electric razor…it was submerged. I hadn’t been planning to replace that anytime soon.

Stay tuned for Sam Disaster #3…I’m sure it will come soon enough.

November 19, 2012 Posted by | kids, Personal | 2 Comments

The Mind of a Three Year Old

Would love to know what goes through my son’s mind sometimes…

Yesterday I went upstairs to grab lunch and found my wife and oldest daughter on their hands and knees in the living room with baby wipes in their hands. My younger daughter was making sure that my son stayed IN the bathtub. Turns out that he had gone into the pantry, grabbed the jar of peanut butter, carried it to the living room, stuck his whole hand inside, then ran through the house shaking the peanut butter covered hand.

To say that there was peanut butter on every square foot of the path he ran is not an exaggeration. It took three of us almost an hour to just clean up the worst of the mess. Then Julie went to pick up a carpet cleaner. Many many hours of work caused by a less than thirty second mad dash of a peanut butter spraying three year old.

And I wish I had some hope that he wouldn’t do it again…but unfortunately I don’t.

August 15, 2012 Posted by | kids, Personal | Leave a comment

Three Year Old Tricks

“Julie, HELP NOW!!!”

Those were my words a half hour ago when I went downstairs to get my three year old son to bring him up for lunch. What I found was my son:

  • Naked
  • On top of the clothes dryer
  • Squatting in a huge puddle of Downy fabric softener
  • Whimpering and asking for help

He had emptied the entire gallon container of Downy (the one I bought yesterday). It was puddled on top of the dryer…running down into the dryer…running down into the washer…puddled on the floor underneath both. It was truly a sight to behold. He smells very fragrant right now. For that matter…the entire house is smelling quite lovely!

April 1, 2012 Posted by | family, kids | 1 Comment

Easter surprise from my daughter

Our daughters have been planning for Easter for a week or so. Yesterday they asked us to take them to Target and the dollar store…but did not want my wife or I to go in with them…they were planning something for us for today.

This morning after getting up early and locating their Easter baskets (that crazy Easter Bunny always hides them in odd places)…they came into our bedroom very eager for my wife and I to come out and look for our Easter bags that they had prepared. They were very excited. Very very excited.

After locating my bag (in the coat closet), my eight year old daughter was eager for me to open it. Turns out that she had picked me, and my eleven year old had picked Julie. As I started pulling things out of the bag…more and more kept coming…multiple kinds of candy, a couple of different snack foods, a watch, a basket… It wasn’t until she mentioned using her “Mom-Mom money” that I realized what she had done. She had taken the ten dollars that her great-grandmother had sent her…and taken three more dollars out of her bank to make sure that Daddy had an Easter basket. My eight year old spent thirteen dollars of her own money on me.

Things that will bring a grown man to tears.

April 24, 2011 Posted by | family, kids | Leave a comment

Green Romans?

A few nights ago as my wife was finishing up the nightly Bible reading with our daughters, my eight year old asked my wife about the trip to Israel that our local radio station (KTIS) has talked about. One of the things that the station mentioned about the trip was something about “walking in the footsteps of Jesus”. My daughter was skeptical…knowing that there is no way that footprints could survive two thousand years. Julie explained that they were just meaning that you could visit Bethlehem, Jerusalem, the Sea of Galilee and other places that Jesus visited.

Marybeth thought for a second then very seriously asked if the cross was still there. I explained how the cross that Jesus died on was very likely used many times before Jesus…and many times after Jesus because of how the Romans used crucifixion as a means of execution.

Without missing a beat Marybeth sing-songed one of the more morbidly funny things I have ever heard:

Reduce Reuse Recycle!”

April 11, 2011 Posted by | comedy, Jesus, kids | Leave a comment

Sam Walking With The Chair

chair2A few years ago when my grandmother passed away I inherited a little chair that had been in the family for a very long time. It was owned by my Great Great Great Grandfather who died in 1878. My Great Grandfather learned to walk with the chair by turning it upside down and pushing it around the house. Doing so wore down the tops of the legs of the chair at an angle that you can see in the picture to the side.

Sam has been learning to walk lately…matter of fact, he took his first two unassisted steps on Sunday…walking from the coffee table to the chair that Marybeth was sitting in. He’s nine and a half months old. Below is a compilation video of some of the walking with the chair (and a laundry basket) that Sam did when he was eight and a half months old.

August 18, 2009 Posted by | family, kids, video | 4 Comments

Rod Trent Interview – Part 2

Okay…it has been entirely too long since I’ve posted…over two months. Life has been a little crazy, but I finally cleaned up the rest of the Rod Trent interview to prepare it for posting. Hope you enjoy it. Also…I expect to post the next interview within another week or so…it is with Tim Mintner of the Microsoft Deployment product team!

August 16, 2009 Posted by | family, interviews, Jesus, kids, Microsoft, MMS, music | 2 Comments

Rod Trent Interview – Part 1

As I promised last week, here is the first of a two part interview with Rod Trent that took place the last night of MMS 2009. I hope to post part 2 sometime next week. Enjoy!


June 4, 2009 Posted by | ConfigMgr, family, interviews, kids, MMS | 3 Comments

Baby Observations

Having an infant in the house again has reminded me of many things that I had forgotten about after our daughters grew out of that stage. It has also caused me to learn a few new things. Here are a few that I have been reminded of lately:

  1. While it rarely happens, a child sleeping in on Saturday morning is a wonderful thing.
  2. Middle of the night diaper changes are often times the equivalent of attempting to wrestle a spastic octopus.
  3. There is nothing quite like seeing the unbridled joy on your child’s face when you walk in the door after being at work all day.
  4. Seventeen pounds doesn’t sound that heavy until that seventeen pounds is a teething baby that you’ve been holding for six hours.
  5. It is absolutely possible to fall asleep standing up. I’ve done it multiple times while holding a baby at 3AM. The feeling of knees buckling while holding an infant is scary.
  6. While the sight of a baby spitting up is bad, I promise you that feeling spit up is worse.
  7. Older children make great playmates for infants. Quite simply, older siblings rock!
  8. Sleep deprivation is a very effective form of torture…especially if inflicted by a small child.
  9. The sight of a content sleeping baby is one of the most beautiful things in the world.
  10. If a baby is going to sneeze during a meal, it will typically be with a mouthful of some dark colored food. Green beans are bad. Prunes are much worse.
  11. It’s really cute watching a baby smile in their sleep. I often wonder what they are dreaming about.
  12. Sometimes a clean shirt is nothing more than a target (for spit up, poop, puke, food, etc).
  13. Being a parent is exhausting work. There is a reason that God didn’t design us to do it alone. I have all the respect in the world for the single parents out there…you have a really tough job.
  14. If teenage kids had any real idea of how much work being a parent is, there would be significantly fewer teen pregnancies.

May 29, 2009 Posted by | comedy, kids, life | 2 Comments

ConfigMgr Child Labor Bloopers

By request of multiple people, here is the bloopers video from the ConfigMgr Child Labor video. Enjoy.

May 12, 2009 Posted by | comedy, kids, MMS, video | 2 Comments

Night Canoe

Last Friday night I took my daughters on a little adventure. The park service in Minneapolis sponsors nighttime canoe trips once a month during the full moon. Friday night was the scheduled “Moonlight Canoe” trip. Only trick is that it was overcast and had a light rain. We went anyway. Bundled all of us up and wore raincoats. It was a fun trip that we will definitely do again…hopefully with a visible moon next time.


May 11, 2009 Posted by | family, kids | 3 Comments

ConfigMgr Child Labor Video

This is the follow up to the video that was shown at MMS 2008 showing my five year old daughter deploying systems using ConfigMgr. I used this during the intro to my “Operating System Deployment in the Real World” session at MMS 2009.

April 29, 2009 Posted by | comedy, ConfigMgr, kids, MMS, video | 8 Comments

Video at MMS 2009

Last year at MMS I had a touch with fame when Bill Anderson used a video (during the “State of the Nation” address) of me and my five year old daughter doing Operating System Deployment with ConfigMgr. It was shocking to me how much face recognition that video gave me last year.

Well…I am presenting at MMS this year on “Operating System Deployment in the Real World." If you are at MMS, that session is Wednesday at 2:15 in Bellini 2001B. During that session I will be debuting a follow up video to the one shown last year. If you want to see it, don’t be late. I will also be posting the video here after the session.

April 27, 2009 Posted by | ConfigMgr, kids, MMS | Leave a comment

Baptizing My Daughter

Tonight I had the honor of baptizing my six year old daughter. She has been asking spiritual questions for a few years now, and my wife has been doing a great job of answering them at my daughter’s level of understanding. About two years ago (when she was four) is when she first clearly understood the meaning of Christ’s death, burial and resurrection…that is when she chose to accept His payment for her sins. We have been amazed at her level of understanding of spiritual things and the way she is able to articulate spiritual truths.

The video below is from her baptism tonight. It took place at the church we have been attending in Minnesota, The Church of the Open Door. It was a really neat experience for both of us. Most of our words that we spoke are pretty clear, but I have transcribed them below so that all of the words can be understood.

Marybeth’s initial statement:

At Florida, my teachers at Sunday School told me Jesus died on the cross to get rid of our sins. And then I started thinking about him, worshipping him, then we got together.

My statement before baptizing her:

In case you can’t tell, she’s a little bit excited about this.

Marybeth, it has been a joy for me to watch you grow both physically and spiritually. I am so glad that when you learned about what Jesus did for you that you chose to accept his payment for your sins. You are not just my daughter…you are also my sister in Christ.

And now, because you have acknowledged Jesus as your Savior and want to obey His command to be baptized, it is my honor and pleasure to baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.

It was the pastor who made the statement at the end, "Is she for rent."

April 8, 2009 Posted by | family, Jesus, kids, video | 5 Comments

Sam Pictures

I’ve had a few friends ask to see more pictures of Sam, so I finally sat down last night and picked out a few new ones to post.

This blue sweater was hand knitted by our CEO’s wife…thanks Marty!


Little dude had his eyes on the prize when Julie pulled out the chocolate I gave her on Valentine’s Day!


“I’m thinking very very hard right now.”


“MB loves me…can you tell?”


“So does Laurel.”


“Mommy loves me too.”


“And Daddy likes my hugs. Hey…what’s not to love?”


Marybeth enjoys reading to Sam. He will sit there totally enthralled as long as she keeps reading.


“I didn’t so much enjoy hiking until Mommy let me inside her jacket.”


“I was very tired.”


February 17, 2009 Posted by | family, kids | Leave a comment

More Sam Pictures

Going back to my previous post about how I enjoy macro photography, I have really enjoyed taking some close up pictures of my son. Typically have better results with it when he is sleeping. Here are a few of my better ones from this week.















November 14, 2008 Posted by | family, kids | 1 Comment

The Stork and the Sandman

So the stork came to my house this week. Apparently the Sandman thought the stork was a Pterodactyl cause he hasn’t been back since.

The first night in the hospital, Sam slept like a dream…between three and five hour stretches. Julie and I both got decent sleep. Since then…well, we’ve been awake a lot at night. Sleep deprivation is not fun.

I love my son…just would like a bit more sleep.

November 9, 2008 Posted by | kids, life | 2 Comments

Sam – A few more pictures

I really enjoy photography. I especially enjoy macro photography. A few of my more favorite shots are posted on this blog. Nearly all of the macro photography (or photography in general really) that I have done has been of either nature or some inanimate object taken from a different perspective. It has been fun today taking some macro pictures of Sam.
























November 5, 2008 Posted by | kids | | 1 Comment

Sam is here!

Sam_Sleeping What a day! We both woke up at around 5am. We stayed in bed talking for a while then got up to get ready to head into the hospital for the 7:30am induction. After checking in and getting everything set up, Dr. Manneh broke the water at around 8:30. Based on Julie’s past history of rapid labor, we were expecting to be done well before lunch. Well…God had different plans for us this time. Lunch came and went. Julie was progressing, but much slower than in past pregnancies. When we came in, Julie was at 3cm…by 1:30, she had only gotten to 6cm. However…

About that time, things kicked into high gear. She went through the classic “self doubt” signpost (I’ll try to get a link to that at some point). At that point, I knew that she wasn’t far off. The nurse checked her again…still 6cm. But the self doubt phase (characterized by the woman saying she “can’t do this”, is typically right before transition. Because I was aware of this (and because I had seen her go through the same phase with both of our daughters), I had the nurse check her again pretty soon after. The nurse got a surprised look…”wow, you are completely dilated.” Julie had gone from 6cm to complete in 15-30 minutes.

Right after birth, the nurses were all saying that he looked big…that he was definitely going to be 8 pounds. Once they weighed him, we were all shocked. 8 pounds 12 ounces. Based on the ultrasound from a few weeks ago, they were estimating that he was going to be just over 7 pounds at birth. Uh…really glad we induced early. He would have been well over nine pounds had we not.

AllMyKids Some may know the significance of the names, but others may not. Sam is named after my dad. My dad was my best friend growing up. I learned a lot from him about hunting, fishing, and repairing things. I worked for him during the summers, and most weekends we were either in the woods or on the lake together. My dad died of cancer when I was twelve…an event that had a huge impact on my life. There was never any doubt that we were going to name our son Sam.

Isaac is a Hebrew name meaning “laughter.” It is a name that has continued to stick out to me over the last few months. As we were nailing down the middle name, I kept coming back to it. When I would look through a list of names, I caught myself just looking to see if Isaac was on the list.

Thanks again to everyone who joined with us in praying that Sam would hold off until Tuesday. That was a huge deal.

Another big thanks goes out to our moms. My mom has done a wonderful job of taking care of our daughters while we have been at the hospital…a job that she did when Marybeth was born also. That is a huge blessing to us. Thanks mom! And Julie’s mom has been in the delivery room at the birth of all of our babies. She is a tremendous help. We are SO glad that they were both able to fly in for this birth.

November 4, 2008 Posted by | kids, life, pregnancy | 17 Comments

Election Day Baby

Julie_nine_months Tomorrow morning (Election Day 2008), we are supposed to call the hospital at 6am to confirm Julie’s appointment to induce labor. The appointment is at 7:30am, but because it is an elective induction we can be bumped down/off the schedule for various reasons. Based on past track record, once they break Julie’s water, she will likely be in strong labor within 15 minutes. And if the past track record continues, this should be a very quick birth…possibly by mid-morning even.

Thanks to everyone who prayed over the last few days for labor to hold off til Tuesday. God chose to answer your prayers with a “yes”.

Check back on the blog sometime around mid day or in the afternoon. I expect to be able to post the birth announcement with pictures from the hospital.

Our former next door neighbor in Orlando really wanted to see what Julie looks like at nine months pregnant and was bummed when we were moving at seven months pregnant. We promised her that we would put pictures up of Julie at that point, so here you go. Jenn….the picture to the right is just for you. It is Julie at the beginning of the ninth month.

November 4, 2008 Posted by | kids, life | | 1 Comment

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